Acceptance

1 04 2009

Acceptance is something that everyone searches for.

Acceptance from our boss, our friends, our spouse, the stranger at the coffee shop.

Accepting ourselves can be an uphill battle. Looking in the mirror every day in hopes that somehow we got better looking, thinner, maybe we were granted more patience that day, more energy, just something that would make somehow make us a better person.

I’ve been in a battle for acceptance with myself for over 20 years now. It hasn’t gotten easier. I just decided to fly the white flag. God has granted me the ability to see myself as He sees me. Is it who I dreamed I would be at 13? No. But the person I am is good enough and blessed enough to have a loving husband, a wonderful miracle of a child, and a circle of genuine friends and church family that are beyond awesome.

I wish I could corner the 13 year old Gina and tell her everything I know. How hard it will be for her to be someone else for the next 20 years. I would beg her to see herself for the beautiful, devoted, talented and admirable person that she is. Instead of trying to look back and regret the person I was in the past, I am living in the now. I will now try to accept myself for a person of God’s awesome and beautiful creation who has a much bigger responsibility in this world. My child. I am a blessed mother who is responsible for the miracle I have been generously given. I want my child to see me as a positive role model. Not one that hates herself or beats herself up over trivial, vain things. In order to do that, I have to accept myself for who I am.

Not an easy thing to do. But I’m working on it.

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